Preservation’s What You Need

  • This ridiculous piece of whimsy was spotted on Calverton village’s premier (only? Ed) fake news website calvoblog. It was penned by our Beelzy, who should folking know better.

A NEW PRESERVATION SOCIETY has been set up in Calverton to preserve preservation societies which may become unable to preserve the things they’re preserving, it’s been revealed.

Two preservation societies have been identified for potential preservation so far.

Norris Thetford, a business continuity expert from Crookdole Lane, is the new Chairman of the Calverton Preservation and History Society and Calverton Real Ale and Plough Play Preservation Society Preservation Society (CPHSCRAPPPSPS).

‘It’s simple, really,’ explains Norris. ‘If a society’s preserving something – and we know it’s preserving something because the word ‘preservation’ is somewhere in the society’s name – then the thing it’s preserving won’t be preserved anymore if the society winds up.

‘So obviously it’s important to preserve the societies that preserve the things, otherwise the things might die out if they’re not preserved, like the history, and the beer.’

If Norris ever has to wind up his society, his son Ben has launched a society to preserve the society which has been set up to preserve preservation societies which may become unable to preserve the things they’re preserving.

So Ben has become Chairman of the newly-formed Calverton Preservation and History Society and Calverton Real Ale and Plough Play Preservation Society Preservation Society Preservation Society (CPHSCRAPPPSPSPS).

At this point, we have to say we lost interest.